The Loretta Johnson Global Abstinence Project & Movement
Promoting Abstinence especially to Black and Hispanic Women & Girls in United States, Africa and worldwide to experience God's best for their lives
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ABSTINENCE NEWSLETTER/A-News

SUBJECT: "COURTING VERSUS DATING"

Why The Loretta Johnson Global Abstinence Project recommends Courting instead of Dating

What is the difference between Courting and Dating?

 -Dating is when you go out with men/boys and their goal is to have sex with you, but not marry you. 

 -Dating often only shows you the positive side of a man/boy and not the negatives.

 -Dating is often a person trying to impress you and only doing fun things together and not allowing you to get to know the real person you are dating.


 What is Courting?

 -Courting is to only spend time with a man/boy who wants to marry you and not have sex with you outside of marriage. 

 -Recommend Courting for at least one year or more.

 -Courting often shows you the negative side of a person and not just the positives before you marry them (unlike dating).


 How do you Court/Steps to Courting:

• Do not have sex outside of marriage

• Become friends first (no physical contact or sex)

• Spend time around other people and not alone with him

• Man/boy has to ask your Father or Pastor if he can court you for the purpose of getting married 

• Spend a lot of time with and getting to know his parents/family or those who raised him and that he is close to. 

• Spend a lot of time getting to know him in detail and not just going to movies, parties or only doing fun things together where you have no time to talk to each other.

• Ask very personal and deep questions about his past; present, as well as his future goals and plans. 

•Ask others about him, such as family/friends who have known him for a long time.

•Limit physical contact when courting to holding hands/kissing and no sex.

•If courting him does not lead to marriage, you will be blessed by finding out ahead of time and not getting trapped with wrong type of man/boy or one that does not truly love you with God’s definition of True love; a child outside of marriage; HIV/AIDs; etc. or many other problems that come with pre-marital sex. (See list of other major problems as follows: Poverty; Neglected Children; Fatherlessness; HIV/AIDS; Single Parent Homes; Violence; Abortions; Unwanted Children; Sexually Transmitted Diseases; High Crime Rates; Lack of Education; Low-Paying Jobs; Destruction of Families; Unwanted Pregnancies; High Death Rates; Low Self-esteem; Social-emotional problems; Hopelessness; Suicide, Limited futures; Lack of Christian values; Premature deaths; and many others.)

•If see problems with this man/boy and can tell that he does not love you with God’s love, END THE COURTSHIP AND RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY.


Additional Recommendations:

​-If you cannot ask or have access to your father or pastor to speak with man/boy who wants to court you, then find another adult man of God that is a committed Christian and cares about you, will tell you the truth, and wants you to experience God’s best for your life.

-Also, you can give a list of questions that you want your father, pastor or adult man of God to ask the man/boy who wants to court you (in addition to the questions that your father, pastor or adult man of God will ask him)

 -Note: Can also have your mother to sit in on the meeting, but not conduct the meeting. 

 -Do not have your mother or another woman to conduct this meeting with the man/boy who is asking to court you. (Reason why? Men/Boys are more likely to try and charm and deceive a woman, but an adult man can tell if this man/boy is sincere and telling the truth. Simply stated, he will have more respect for another man and men know men/boys better than women do.)

 -If your Father, Pastor or another Christ-like man of God who speaks with the man/boy recommends that you should not court this man/boy, then END THE RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY.

How to determine if a man/boy truly loves you based on God's definition of True Love: (click here)

If you have any questions about the information and how to apply it to your life, please feel free to contact Kim Wilson, Author, Speaker and Founder of The Loretta Johnson Global Abstinence Project and Movement, by phone at 678-491-8583 or email at kimwilson125@att.net.